and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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