8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake