i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
