Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.