what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun