its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
