Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
