So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
