We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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