Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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