perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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