in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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