okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
