3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
someone get that fucking seahorse.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
