im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
