If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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