It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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