I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
