Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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