Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
