Kiss
Puke
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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