She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
