why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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