Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
