He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
