I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
