Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
did you just send me my own nude
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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