There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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