well you can't waste a boner
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
