Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
