i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
