I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
