maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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