Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize