She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
