yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
