hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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