I want to have your abortion
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize