tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
