Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
