I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
