I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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