please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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