Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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