too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am available for nakedness
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
