She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
