new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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