Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
