To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dude. I can hear the air.
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