well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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