i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
