I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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