i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
