i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
