Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
