I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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