guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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