i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
