How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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